Oh, bloody hell.

So this guy slides up to me on the bus as I’m way to work this afternoon. Now, I’ve got my headphones and sunglasses on. He stamps his foot which makes a loud noise, to get my attention I realize later. Then he says to me….”is there any chance that I can get a piece of that?” Oh, Mother of pearl…how long did you have to sit and ponder that one hot stuff? I just ignored him, pretended that I couldn’t hear him. Thank God for ipods. Who knew they could be a man deflector! Then he slides back his seat and just stares at me with what Steven used to call “bedroom eyes.” Ugh…and he just stares. Like I’m gonna stop what I’m doing and have a conversation with him after that sleazy pick up line. Then he leans over across the aisle so that if I were gonna have to get up, it’d be right in his lap….which I’m sure is exactly where he wants me….and then he waves his hand in front of my face and points to his wrist. Will this never end?? I say “no,sorry.” and make sure not to smile at him…which is tough since smiling is much more natural then it used to be for me. But I’ve learned that men see smiling as encouragement, no matter what your body language is saying. They refuse to listen…ah, the male ego. So finally….I reach my destination, and of course it’s his stop too. He grandly sweeps his arm in front encouraging me to go off the bus first…either that or stare my ass. Man! I just thought of that now…ah, well. It’s over. I totally changed my silver band to my ring finger in case I was gonna have to pull a “oh, sorry. I’m married.” Yes. Yes, my friend. It was that bad.