I Just Had a Dream About the Day I Die

I think that I died of a sickness, but it wasn’t painful at all. When the dream first starts, I’m traveling to someplace in a car. I’m over looking the water, which is to my left. There’s a big field of something yellowy, looks like wheat. I meet this beautiful man, who’s in the car with me. The dream had begun before that, I think it showed how we met, but every time I think on it, I forget. At first I see myself in the third person. I don’t even realize that I’m sick, but I know that I’m running away from something. I got the sense that he was running away from something too, maybe he was dying as well. We went to a beach, I think that we were in Italy or some place with the same kind of climate. We were so happy, I had something really important with me. Like notes or something. They were had written—maybe an orthographic will.
The beach was so beautiful. It looked almost like the place that I actually went to in Costa Maya, Mexico. There were was a little restaurant and a little bar to the side of this little ramp of sand that takes you down the beach. I remember that man walking up behind me with a disappointed look on his face, when I asked him what was wrong with him, he said that he and been watching my notes but got distracted while he was swimming in the water and they had gotten wet and were ruined. Whatever was in the notes was extremely important to me, I should have been so upset. Suddenly, it didn’t matter anyway. He grabbed my hand and we went a played on the beach. We were rolling around in the sand and playing games in the water. I got hungry and so we went to one of the little restaurants. We didn’t even get a chance to grab anything to eat. He grabbed my hand and told me that he wanted to make love. Somehow the car that we had originally had parked on the beach turned into an apartment. Maybe that shows a passage of time, time had definitely passed, I could feel it in the dream. I still didn’t know that I was the sick one, only that there was something different about me.
I jumped on the bed and was relaxing on my back with my hands tucked behind my neck. He was fiddling with something on the floor beside the bed. He said that he was ready and I told him to wait because I had to pee. I remember that whole dream so clearly, I even remember what the bath room looked like. It wasn’t modern, the entire apartment wasn’t, although I only saw the bedroom, it definitely had a European flair to it. It had mixed matched carpets full of rusty shades like rusty orange, red, etc.
I came out of the bathroom to find people in the room. They had been talking to my lover; he looked like he had been crying. He was sitting on the bed with one knee bent and one straight with one elbow rest on the bent knee with this head in his hand. He looked at me when I came in the room and he looked so torn up inside. I crawl over him on the bed and sat next to him. It’s so weird because I see this entire conversation from behind where I’m sitting on the beach. The people who were in the room had British accents. They told me that they had been looking for me and that I shouldn’t have left. This is the point where I realize that it’s me who’s sick and dying. I’m amazingly calm about it. Throughout the entire dream I had thought that it was someone else, but it wasn’t.
The dream goes to a different place, I’m sitting in a sometimes backyard or something. It’s surrounded by a low stone wall, there’s a party or something. I’m sitting in the corner on a couch. I’m snuggled all the way and the end of the couch as far as I can get away from people. I notice that there are constantly people looking over at me. A part of myself outside the dream realizes that this is my family, and although I had seen myself as young, I’m definitely not. I see my lover, he’s wearing a tux he comes over and sits next to me. I tell him that I want a picture. I put out my arm and take the picture that way. I look at him and he looks so sad. I hug him really hard. Someone, a member of my family I’m guessing, comes over and decides to take a picture of the two of us. When she takes the picture, my lover in the picture comes out as a full bottle of water.
Now I can feel myself going. I can sense Death around me; I get freaked out because well, it’s Death. Then I’m not scared anymore because I remember what it was like when my mother died, I remembered seeing the same spirit around her. I realize that I’m okay with going, that I have no regrets. I go over my life, content that I am surrounded by my family as I go, I say a little prayer and close my eyes.
That’s when I wake up.